Saturday, 17 May 2014

The Queen's Beaver

The original name for my boat was going to be The Queen's Beaver. A tribute to two icons of Canadiana. It was only my timid nature and fear of a backlash from Royalty worshippers, that misread the name, that prevented me from naming the boat. I'm sure that our closeted Foreign Minister John Baird would be appalled. The addition of the swim platform this year will allow me to rename the boat. I will affix The Queens Beaver to the swim platform this summer. I have ordered the name today.

I'm a home town hero. My hole-in-one was mentioned in the Hamilton Spectator. While I left Hamilton 30-years ago I'm sure mention of my name aroused some derision and groaning in The Hammer. "I remember that loser, whatever became of him?". As is typical of my experience in Hamilton, my rare sporting triumph was one-upped by a local Italian dude. He claims that he hit a hole-in-one on the same hole, with the same 6-iron club, but from 30-yards further away. Listen I'm not questioning the veracity of his claim, but my experience going to school with Italian males from The Hammer is that exaggeration and stretching of the truth is not unheard of. I'm sure his feat is legit, just not as sure as my own hole-in-one.

My friend Dawn an Italian lady from The Hammer, which is far more credible, has another friend that makes trophies. Through her I have commissioned a hole-in-one trophy. I was thinking of a 4-foot tall mega trophy, but was talked down from that idea. An understated yet elegant 6-inch trophy may have to do. As I intend to bring the trophy with me as I travel I don't want something that will be difficult to carry.

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