Wednesday, 9 January 2013

Cobb Salad, 14 Tribes of Galway, The Lost Book of D'Arcy & the Sporkife

During my 45-day challenge I have been experimenting with different combos of salads, at the Salad restaurant in the Eaton Centre Mall. On Monday the guy behind me ordered a Cobb salad. I recalled a lunch I had with M where she ordered a Cobb salad and raved about it. I decided to order my first Cobb salad today. There must be more calories in a Cobb salad than a Big Mac and fries. Bacon, chicken, 3 kinds of cheese and ranch dressing. I should have just added gravy and cheese curds.

It reminded me of the show Curb Your Enthusiasm, where a guy claimed to Larry David that his grandfather invented the Cobb salad. Larry David challenged that claim. It got me to thinking that the D'Arcy clan does not really have a claim to fame.

Apparently the D'Arcy's are one of the 14 tribes of Galway in Ireland. Now my dad's family is from Tipperary. If the family owns land in Galway I'd like to hear about it.

What I plan to do is invent a back story like the Cobb salad guy. Come up with a plausible claim to fame. I have a few preliminary ideas. One would be the lost Book of D'Arcy from the New Testament. Purged from the Bible by Pope Pius I, for being too controversial. The Book of D'Arcy dealt with the  lost Jesus years. The years in Jesus life between ages 16 to 30. Note in the other 4 books of the New Testament, the story ends after age 16 and does not resume until Jesus is 30. The Book of D'Arcy fills in the gap. It deals with a rebellious Jesus that gives Mary & Joseph fits. Let's just say that you thought twice before walking through Nazareth without paying respect to Jesus and his band of disciples. He had yet to find his sense of purpose until he hit his 30's.

Horatio D'Arcy III invented the Sporkife. A single piece of cutlery that eliminated the need for a separate knife, fork and spoon. A sliding compartment changed the fork into a spoon.The edge of the Sporkife doubled as a knife and was detachable if required. The Sporkife was the Swiss Army knife of cutlery.

Speaking of cutlery, why don't the Japanese and Chinese admit that the Western world perfected cutlery and drop the chopsticks? I don't care how proficient you are at handling chopsticks, a fork is far superior.

In the interim I will be thinking of additional D'Arcy claim to fame stories, real and imagined.

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